CERBYD

2011-03-29T05:46:00.001-07:00

I wake up and it's Tuesday already. Where did the time go? Must I go back to reality? Can't I stay in the Cerbyd bubble forever? I idly prepare breakfast and warm drinks as Cerbyd slowly stir. Melancholy campers begin to take their tents down for the final time. The first of the Cerbyd meetings is called and we gather round. The discussions turn to what we are and could be. We have all shared in something special this is agreed. We have all become closer to one another than any of us first imagined possible in such a short space of time. We become caught up in fine details that have no place in the first meeting and I push for confirmation of what Cerbyd is. The possibilities of Cerbyd are defined as follows:

1) Cerbyd as Collaboration - with members of the community groups or Cerbyd. Or with the places we visited.

2) Cerbyd as Collective - working together towards Cerbyd's shared aims

3) Cerbyd as Individual - individual responses to the journey and to any subsequent Cerbyd related experiences.

4) Cerbyd as documentation - documentation of what Cerbyd is and will be.

5) Cerbyd as Unification - as a way of losing individual artistic identity and creating work under the banner of Cerbyd.

The Mantra from the Cerbyd meeting borrows from Evel Knievel If it is possible, it is done. If it is impossible, it will be done. There is no time for nostalgia as the bus is packed and loaded one more time. The first half of the journey down to Cardiff is a somber one and it is not until Kathryn's iPod is employed that spirits are raised.

Stirring renditions of Beyonce's All the Single Ladies with a clever quiz related lyric change If you like it, you shoulda put a wig on it! Seated dance routines and hand jives ensue, the group peek then sleep descends over Cerbyd land as the wheels on the bus roll us towards tea at g39. I text Sean our ETA and he confirms there will be bunting.

As we pull off the M4 Brian and I decide now is the perfect time to play The Specials' Enjoy yourself (It's later than you think) causing an almighty sing-a-long on the bus. Unfortunately our eagerness has gotten the better of us and we have underestimated how far we are away from our destination. The sing-a-long deteriorates into a hilarious droning parody as we run past Cardiff Castle and into town.

We come to our final stop on the side of St Mary's street, the group unload and say their thanks and good byes to Gillian. We arrive at g39 to a heroes welcome, bunting, welsh cakes, tea and coffee galore. Emotions run high with tears and embraces. Sean and Helen wearing pinafores is a moment to treasure for all eternity and I confide in understatement that 'Yes, it did go rather well'. Brian and I are off again, dancing to a different beat as we head back to Gillian to return the bus. The total distance travelled is clocked at 1,037 miles but this is just the beginning.

2011-03-29T05:45:00.001-07:00

There is a lot of improvisation with the cooking this evening and a real emphasis on the fast as we're running late. Ben decides to get everybody's shoes out and start taking photos of them just before the rain descends. We draw names from the hat to decide the quiz teams for the evening and by the power of Springsteen we speed to Llanbardan. It is soon very clear that some of the teams are taking the quiz more seriously than others. Lucy has arrived with a large plastic folder that presumably contains her team's revision notes!

And now to introduce the teams- the Quiz Wigs with their team captain Lucy, Ben, Rosa and Megan. Tom's Tarts with team captain Tom, Louise, Femke, Tomoko and Kathryn and finally Brian's Swollen Ankle Paul, Gillan, Charlotte and team captain Brian. The obligatory team photos are snapped and pumped up we head into the heart of the Black Lion to commence battle and flex the cerebral powers of Cerbyd collectively.

The Black Lion is a stereotypical pub in a small village in West Wales but not one local bats an eyelid as the Quiz Wigs enter looking like extras from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I spy the Cerbyd Quiz poster up behind the bar and get the drinks into quench the thirst of my erudite colleagues.

The quiz kicks off with Martyn the Quiz Master in total control. There is one rather contentious moment where things threaten to boil over. The disagreement typically involves art, specifically the name change of the Tate Britain. After some unnecessary and frankly embarrassing heated shouts from members of the Cerbyd team things start to settle down again. Martyn sticks to his guns and is not swayed.

A great Quiz Master never allows the facts to get in the way of a good quiz. Louise's knowledge of the first testament is rather impressive and the half time scores in reverse order are the Quiz wigs on 34, Brian's swollen ankle with 37 ½ and Tom's Tarts in the lead on 43.

After rushing to cook and eat dinner, shock sweeps across the faces of the Cerbyd contingent as it is announced that there will be lunch at the half time interval of the quiz. It's proper old school pub quiz grub too. Sausage, chips with buttered bread come out on silver plated platters and everyone from Cerbyd gets stuck in. None more so than Tomoko, who has only recently discovered the ground meat goodness of sausage. Cerbyd return for the second half of the quiz plumper and slightly sleepier than before but quickly the brains are ticking over again as Martyn fires the questions off.

The final scores are in! In last place is Brian's Swollen Ankle with 53 ½, the Quiz Wigs come in second on 54 but Tom's Tarts are the run away winners with 59. My team celebrate respectfully and there are three cheers and a pint of bitter for Martyn for being quizmaster and such a willing host. Needless to say the regular quiz teams score handsomely and leave Cerbyd in a league of their own.

Before we leave there is time for the wigs to be put to great use as a look-a-like competition featuring the Cerbyd captains keeps the whole pub amused. The penultimate day of Cerbyd's adventure is nearly up with the group wanting to stay up late and savour every last moment but not one of us can muster the energy and soon we are sleeping soundly.

2011-03-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

I am certainly not someone who claims to hate Mondays but if I were then Mondays, that fall within Cerbyd time would have to be renamed. They could be Cerbydays instead if it did not sound so unimaginative. The light streams in through the yurt and wakes us early. Breakfast is full and restorative and we head off down the road to meet the Llandysul Paddlers for some early morning kayaking.

I sit out the kayaking with Lucy - we are bad ears and pregnant respectively. Cerbyd absolutely love their figure hugging wetsuits. Queue some celebration and bonding as one by one they reveal themselves in neck to ankle rubber or more accurately neoprene. I am Graham to Lucy's Cilla.

The group are given a health and safety briefing then play some games which first involve lunging then test their speed, agility and reactions. Cerbyd just about pass and after a long week it's obvious why. I do a quick prayer that no one dies to David Hasselhoff and start filming the group rowing around the practice pond. Both Ben and Megan pick it up quickly and are navigating their way around but soon the whole group are ready for the rapids.

The gauntlet has been thrown down and I feel like I am filming a children's TV show like 'Get your own back or the why don't you club'. Disappointingly there is no sign of Dave Benson Philips. Taking it in turns the group hit the rapids showing their competency. Only one or two roll their kayaks and it would be rude of me to reveal which! Those who roll expertly regain their prowess and finish the challenge well. The groups do a second run of rapids and again they are impressive. As the group get out and in pairs carry their kayaks up the riverbank they are obviously exhilarated by the experience.

Once back on dry land and out of their wet suits Cerbyd rush off to The Power House for an event organised by Mike and Sara. It seems the whole cast of the Archers has turned up to the event too. Cerbyd replenish on tea and biscuits before being led by Mike in regression through the events of the week that is very taxing and emotional for us all. The Cerbyds, Aldridges and Archers head back to the Old Mill for a spot of lunch and soon we are off on our way again. The good food and extreme sport cause many of the group to take forty winks on route to our final campsite at Devil's Bridge.

2011-03-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

(Tom as narrator)
We set off down winding roads and I am aware that very soon we will have to go back to normality. In fact, it will be sooner than the group think, as I've arranged for Mike & Sara to put us up for the night. They have kindly offered, in a good ol' fashioned community spirit kind of way, to cook us a hearty meal and give us beds for the night.

As we approach the Old Mill in Llandysul, I smile to myself knowing the warm welcome the group will receive and deserve. The warmth and comfort of the house for a time seems alien but Cerbyd soon get used to it. The food is excellent and is quickly and gratefully devoured by all. The group is extremely tired from the exertions of the past week and after having a few thimbles to drink retires. The Cerbyd rebels, of whom I am one, decide that sleeping with a roof over our heads will compromise our experience so we head out to the yurt to drink a little more and sleep.

The night is punctuated by playful arguing between a rather tiddly, gin soaked Louise and Ben. I throw my ore in every now and again with Megan and Briaan playing peacekeepers. It is all well natured and a result of a long day. A young local lad going by the name of Jet becomes an honorary member of Cerbyd for the evening as we eventually all sail off to sleep but not before Jet is made to reveal who his favourite Cerbyd member is. It is Tomoko.

Louise deserts the Cerbyd rebels in the middle of the night and thankfully, we find her asleep in the comfort of the house after our search party got a little sleepy. I was particularly glad that a ferocious badger had not mauled her.

2011-03-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning and that familiar routine. We have beans on toast for breakfast and pack down. In under twenty minutes the van is packed and we are on our way again. This time we're off to Llandrindod Wells for a spot of Appalachian dancing. We arrive at the Powys dance school early, the lights are out and no one is home. I head to the cycling museum around the corner, unfortunately the entrance fee is too steep so we head into town for a coffee but being a Sunday the place is pretty quite. Luckily we find a hotel and head to the bar for a warm drink. I opt for an orange juice and we enjoy the warmth on this windy day.

Returning to the dance school, there is still no sign of our hosts so I ring Pete from Raise the Dust, and they are on their way. The group changes into their dancing shoes. Our hosts arrive and we make our way into the hall helping Pete carry in some wooden boards to protect the floor from our clogging. Once inside the session starts and most of the group pick it up pretty quickly, Tomoko in particular. I sit on the upper level observing, sitting this one out because of my ankle.

The session is intense and lasts for four hours. We start the day as amateurs and apart from some poor rhythm, the group is now confident when attempting an Eddie or a Calypso, as well as other dance moves. For the second half we have a substitution Lucy sits it out and Gillian the driver comes in and has a go. The group is kind enough to provide refreshments and at the end give us a taste of how it should be done. Highly impressed, we leave the hall tired and very sweaty. The group is hungry now after all that exercise so we head back into the town for a snack. Sunday means that there is very little is open so we find ourselves in a basement pub, its nuts, crisps and pop all round.

2011-03-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

After checking all four hives, eliminating the odd wasp and the inspection is complete. We move away from the wasps and remove our stylish white bee suits. Unknown to us the BBQ was cooking and under the marquee there is a stunning array of desserts on display. The artist's eyes light up and I head to the van to get our food. As I approach the BBQ I can see now that there is plenty of food already on the grill, more than enough for everybody. Instead of adding more, I simply hand out our produce to members of the beekeeping group for them to cook at home.

I get into a conversation with a beekeeper, and mention it was a shame I failed to see a queen.

'Fear not' he says and points me in the direction of a display hive. I go in for a closer look and yes, I can see the queen. I gather the other Cerbyd members to gaze upon the queen and now all the boxes are ticked. The day could not be going better.
While looking at the queen, I witness a bizarre mauling of a bee. I tell one of the members of the group and he explains that the bee must have found its way into the wrong hive. The bees of this hive see him as a threat and to protect the queen they absolutely batter it. After a while, the bee plays dead and they leave him alone. He moves again and the clan are on him again relentless with their attack. I have to stop myself from watching this massacre and return to the BBQ.

This BBQ has turned into something of an event. Children and families of the beekeepers arrive, a raffle is on the go, wine flows and food is being consumed. Indeed, it seems the sudden influx of meat into the diet of the artists has gone to their heads. After the consumption of around 9 sausages (I wasn't counting!) Tomoko likened the place to paradise and totally agree. We are just fifty yards from the bees but any earlier trepidation has certainly vanished now.

Gillian once again wins the raffle and a bottle of wine that is quickly shared out. We finish our conversations and say our goodbyes. I take one last look at the queen bee in the display case and we head back to the campsite.

Back at the campsite and we set light to a bonfire. I sit, some draw, some write, but the majority of the group are playing Frisbee, and creating I might add, some bizarre moves. Each are named, I watch and relax and we have an early night.

2011-03-29T05:38:00.000-07:00

While setting up camp typically, I miss a call. The answer phone message is somewhat surprising, I’m asked to ring a number, I do, echoing down the phone is a Liverpool accent. I make no sense of it at first but quickly realise it’s none other than the site office from last night’s campsite. And would you believe it? Tomoko’s phone has been handed in. The gentleman at the other end of the line asks if I can come collect it.

I explain to him that we are now in Brecon and make arrangements for the campsite to look after the phone for a few more days. I return to others with the good news and arrange with Paul, a local, to collect the phone at the end of the project, and post the phone onto Tomoko.

Everyone is in a far better mood now, and my distrust of Scousers is quickly eradicated, the campsite couldn't be any more helpful. I return once again to the office to collect the electrical items and arrange the evening, A quick phone call to the beekeepers and we're sorted. Directions are ever so slightly tricky so I double check my notes and give an estimated time of arrival to the Beekeepers.

I knew my notes and directions were a little vague so we take the scenic route! Two U turns and a phone call later and we are back on course then bang there it is, the sign for the beekeepers.

We turn off the road through a gate and down a leafy passage way in the field barely wide enough for the van, but we get though, exit the van and make our introductions. Once again the hospitality from our hosts was second to none, but we are slightly late and we must get started.

We get suited up, laughs are had while each person struggles to get into their sci-fi like hooded suits. I, to the bemusement of the group capture these moments on camera, but in doing so I have forgotten to suit up. I put down my camera to find only one suit left on the cloths line, an old school model different to everyone else's and slightly small, it's my turn to struggle, I'm not laughing now.

My copious amounts of hair push my face against the netting of the mask, this simply won't do, safety precautions won't allow it, so I have to remove my mask, unzip my suit tuck my hair in and try again. Second time lucky and I am given the go-ahead to catch up with the rest of the group who by this time were already in close proximity to the hive. I catch up and receive the introductory talk on what you should and shouldn't do around bees, interspersed with hard hitting tales that underline the importance of safety.

Having been swarmed with advice we approach the hives. We're here in our numbers, local enthusiasts are also in attendance to learn the ins and outs of hive inspections, because of this reason we are asked to stay behind a barrier, there are 4 hives, and the expert gets to work ensuring each carefully removed segment is brought over to us for closer examination.

Everyone involved with the beekeeping group were very helpful and extremely informative. The inspector was a little intimidating but with so many people, that's totally understandable. The smoking of the bees calms them down considerably and it wasn't long before Kath made a friend, and was the first to brave the inspector's wrath by entering the fenced pen for a closer look. After 20mins everyone was at ease, and the inspector didn't seem to mind that we were getting a lot closer to the action. It was probably impossible to tell who was who in our matching suits and masks.

2011-03-29T05:36:00.000-07:00

(Brian as narrator) Saturday It’s early, very early, or at least it seems that way being the morning after the night before. The George Formby night was a great chance for the artists to get to know one other in a more social setting. Although by this time, I’m sure they were already familiar with each other’s quirks! On return to the campsite several of the group decided to carry on this social engagement in the bus, including me, a decision I am currently regretting. Nothing a shower can’t sort out.
A moment of panic strikes, while having a shower Tomoko left her mobile phone plugged into charge in the bathroom but forgot to pick it up when she finished. She returned once she had realised her error to find the phone gone. A few of the group head to the site office in a bid locate the missing item. I meanwhile pack the van, and despite doing this one alone, it was achieved expertly with haste.

Kath and Paul return from the campsite office phone less, I have a quite chat with Paul and with my now obvious distrust of Scousers decide to get the group out of this zoo.

The beekeepers have arranged a BBQ so supplies are needed. On route I hand a blank sheet of paper and a pen to the crowded bus behind asking for people to write down requests for the BBQ. I wish I hadn’t, the returned piece of paper was a sight to behold, time for a re-think. The requested items were extremely plentiful and my issues with the list were as follows:

1) Can we eat all this food
2) How long it would take scouring the supermarket aisles for some of these products
3) Cost, although budgeted for, this list would far exceed earlier food budget estimations.

I explain this to the group, and try a different course of action. I want a simple Meat or Veg reply when I call the Cerbyd artists names. The system works and I now know my shopping list. Sometimes you have to adopt the role of strict headmaster in order to move forward! Typically, some of the artists still want some of the luxury items on the list, but it is decided that anyone wanting particular goodies must purchase these themselves. This decision proving slightly pointless as once I got in the supermarket, my kind nature took over and the shopping list expanded to include fruit, and even haloumi!

Next stop Brecon, we snake down a narrow stony dusty lane and the sun is out. It’s hot and stuffy on the bus, the artists are eager to get out and stretch, we reach the end of the lane to larger courtyard area, everyone jumps out of the bus, to satisfy there basic human needs for comfort and stretch their legs.

As far as campsites go this is another gem. Kath’s been here before and is quick to compliment, I leave the group to speak to the land owners and get a pitch. A wonderful charming woman greets me at the farmhouse, she enquires to where we are all from. This leads to a discussion about the project - how we arrived in Brecon and what we were doing here, and as fate would have it, it turns out that our host is a avid beekeeper, and has a hive on her land.

I ask if there is a secure location to charge our various gadgets. I am led to an office and plug in nine phones, two cameras, and one video camera. Unfortunately, the room is not secure and although the clientele of this campsite appears trustworthy, after the events of this morning, I remain vigilant. Meanwhile we set up camp; campfires are allowed on this site so I return to the farm to purchase some campfire wood, for later.

2011-03-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

It’s Friday and the Cerbyd ladies have that Friday feeling belting out a storming rendition of Aretha Franklin’s Respect as we travel behind a bin lorry on the winding B4366. The winding roads eventually lead us to the home of the Caernarfon Model Railway Club. The group welcome us and have on display a fantastic track for us to ‘play on’. The group tell us their tales of how they got involved in model railway. They are all afflicted with the model railway bug. They can’t shake it and it’s a commitment for life, just like art. Each of the group has an individual specialist knowledge and skill that they bring to the group. The Caernarfan Model Railway Club as a whole is truly greater than the sum of its parts.

On the way up to the North Wales Branch of the George Formby Appreciation Society we pop into the all new MOSTYN. We soak up the We are the mirrors, we have the plans show before having a special tour of the Jo Shapland exhibition before it opens that evening unfortunately Cerbyd has just enough time to mark their territory in the MOSTYN loo before heading in the direction of Formby.

Our thanks to Martin Barlow for his excellent hospitality dealing with us so well during our impromptu flying visit.
It’s Friday night and the Cerbyd girls get out, dust down and un-crease their glad rags to meet the North Wales Branch of the George Formby Appreciation Society and no one can say that Cerbyd doesn’t have heart as Paul’s fiancée, Rachel, comes along to celebrate their anniversary together. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

(Narrator changes to Briaan)

Once the raffle tickets are bought and introductions made we get a comforable seat to take in the evening's mirth. We are joined by a lovely surprise Christine, our tour guide!
'She wouldn't have missed it for the world!'
I have looked forward to this night and a chance to let my hair/dreads down all week and the price of the drink brings a grin to my face.
I’m glad I’ve had a bit of Dutch courage as I am asked to explain our presence to the audience. I head onto the stage and nervously bumble my way though some of the objectives of the project. Job done I return to my seat and try to recruit some artists to perform on stage.
The group are decidedly nervous but when we establish that they don’t have to do a Formby tune they become more willing. During the interval Paul has an express Ukulele lesson and acting as ‘the band’s manager’ I’ve mustered together three acts to slot into the second half:

Kathryn Ashill singing "Calon Lân"

The Cerbydettes performing Tom Jones’s ‘It’s not unusual’ with Megan on vocals, Paul on ukulele, Ben on foot pump, Femke, Louise, Lucy & Charlotte on backing vocals and the musical instruments made at the National Eisteddfod.

Concluding with a Performance piece from Anti-Cool.

Tomoko's performance was exceptional and despite the fact anti-cool herself saw it as a failure at the time, I, along with pretty much everyone else in the room found it mesmerising.

By the end of the night the Formby society had accepted us with open arms and many friends were made, we have to leave early because of a campsite curfew but there is just enough time for Gillian to scoop the Formby raffle before we leave. Everyone has had a great time. Charlotte even dubbed it ‘The best night of her life’

2011-03-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

We feel completely lost without Christine and to think I was worried about the way the group might react to a 'outsider' hitching a ride then getting off. We are quite lost without her directions too and find it difficult to navigate to our next campsite in Llandegla. A sequence of beautifully performed U turns guides us safely to the small family run campsite of Llyn Rhys Farm. As Gillian pulls into the campsite Briaan and I leap out to find where we should park. Gillian drives onto the grass prompting Briaan to show a keen set of heels to a whippet speeding off, jumping up and down berating his sister for parking in the field. Hilariously and fortunately the farmer is happy for us to park there and we get the soup on before heading to the Chirk Writers Circle.

We arrive at the community centre home of the Chirk writers circle’s monthly meetings. We are welcomed with an array of tea and biscuits before getting down to introductions. Once these formalities are out of the way, Barbara Maitra, the commander of the Writers Circle, sets us the task of writing a short piece of prose without adjectives.
Cerbyd chorus:

‘What’s an adjective?!’

An adjective modifies a noun or a pronoun by describing, identifying, or quantifying words. An adjective usually precedes the noun or the pronoun which it modifies.

Well, I’m glad that’s been cleared up. Clear as mud now. I'm very glad that I’m filming and photographing this activity so not required to perform these tasks.

The next task is to write a short piece of prose only using adjectives. We all read our pieces one by one. Barbara is impressed and we seem to have done ok. We have not shown ourselves up and genuinely bond with the Writers circle over some more tea and biscuits.

The Chirk writers each perform a piece of poetry or prose that they have specially prepared for our visit. Cerbyd is blown away by a beautifully crafted almost epic, in length, poem about the World of War Craft computer games. This multiplayer online role playing game where players take on characters as their avatar to explore the landscape, fight various monsters and completing quests has never sound so lyrical or seductive.

We clamber into the bus and once again this bonds the group. I feel a sort of ‘we’re a better group than they are’ mentality and I suppose we are. Half the group are tired and head for bed, the other half of us congregate in Louise’s cavernous tent to share two now warm bottles of wine between the remaining eight. No it doesn’t go far but that really isn’t the point.

2011-03-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

I wake on my back staring at the canvas. It feels far too early but I can’t get back to sleep. I try to read for a while, drawn to Brian’s snoring I consider various elaborate ways of waking him. It is satisfying to see how making the breakfast has transformed from a spectator sport to a communal event.

The groundsheets of Lucy’s tent are leaking and Paul heroically saves the day. Paul’s pastoral ability and good nature causes the Cerbyd ladies to unite in forming the Paul R Jones Appreciation Society.

Cerbyd are aware that they have another mystery surprise and assume it must be the laundrette so contently wash and dry their muddy clothes. We hurry the group to collapse tents and pack bags, this too is becoming a well oiled machine. But neither the luxury of the laundrette nor the dishwasher, that they are yet to discover, is today’s mystery surprise and as if by magic Christine our registered blue badge tour guide arrives.

The group are speechless and genuinely excited by the prospect of discovering a little of secret Wales in the capable hands of Christine. Christine rides shotgun and we’re off again. As we travel through Beddgelert we hear the story of Gelert:

"In the 13th century Llewelyn, prince of North Wales, had a palace at Beddgelert. One day he went hunting without Gelert, "The Faithful Hound", who was unaccountably absent.

On Llewelyn's return the truant, stained and smeared with blood, joyfully sprang to meet his master. The prince alarmed hastened to find his son, and saw the infant's cot empty, the bedclothes and floor covered with blood.

The frantic father plunged his sword into the hound's side, thinking it had killed his heir. The dog's dying yell was answered by a child's cry.

Llewelyn searched and discovered his boy unharmed, but near by lay the body of a mighty wolf which Gelert had slain.
The prince filled with remorse is said never to have smiled again. He buried Gelert here".

Accompanied by Christine’s voice we drive deep into the heart of Snowdonia round every corner waits a discovery. We visit Llechwedd, Slate mines with the intention of splitting slate. Four times we are assembled together for the slate splitting but each time the slate is not ‘good enough’ for splitting.

I know far less about slate than I thought I did. I make a mental note that I must address this when I return home. I can’t understand why Llechwedd is still waiting for World Heritage status? If the group did notice they didn’t show any disappointment for not being able to split the slate. In fact smiles were a plenty and the happiness swelled as we swilled tea and gobbled down Welsh cakes in the Slate Café.

Happier and rounder we take off on the next leg of Christine’s mystery tour – Plas Newydd, the home of the Ladies of Llangollen. Lady Eleanor Butler and Miss Sarah Ponsonby lived together in a romantic friendship from 1780 overhauling the house into the gothic style and adding stunning carved oak arches and interiors.

As a big thank you to Christine for her extraordinary help we pull up some chairs at a rather large table (I think we may have been the largest group ever to eat at the Conwy Falls restaurant) and cram more food into our mouths.

At Christine’s request we drop her at the side of the road and head on. I close my eyes and I sing to myself:
(To the tune of the Littlest Hobo)

Maybe tomorrow, Cerbyd will be driving through your town,

Christine, our blue badge tour guide that we can count upon.

Down this road that never seems to end,

Christine, our friend, waits just around the bend.

So if you’d like her to guide you for a while,

Just pack a bus full to the rafters that is Cerbyd’s style.

Maybe tomorrow, Cerbyd will be driving through your town,

Christine, our blue badge tour guide that we can count upon.

2011-03-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

While Brian's group get down to some weeding in the Boulder Garden my team are off to the Woods of the World. The Garden staff have obviously spotted the potential of me and my team as we stride up to our summit rakes in hand. We clock in at the Woods of the World specifically the North East USA. It begins to dawn on the team that the rakes are for raking and we need to make piles of the dry grass for collecting. This isn't quite the glamour some of the group were expecting.

It may not be the 'special mission' I had in mind for my crack team but we'll definitely do the job to perfection. Two hours later we have raked the whole field, posed for a Harry Potter-esque picture substituting broomsticks for rakes, modelled for photos with the local newspaper and found a frog. Mission accomplished Team Cerbyd. Hasta la vista National Botanical Garden of Wales.

Although that isn't strictly true as we join up with the 'other' gardening team to share lunch then explore the gardens in the blazing sun. I potter, contented that no one has died yet, through our verdant surroundings, sniffing flowers and avoiding the pneumatic bees. I take the weight off my feet and sit outside the great glasshouse relaxing in the shadow of Norman Foster's wondrous design. I even had a delicious ice cream. Actually it was more of a blagging lick of Louise's then Meg's and then Femke's ice cream. The ice cream was lovely but have I began to abuse my power as leader?!

We leave late especially as we are heading North and today is the day of the longest drive. This was a mistake especially after having to stop for cows in the road and road works. The group must have been studying their timetables as a wave of excitement reverberates up and down the bus.

'What is our mystery surprise?'

We park up in a supermarket car park and I head off to get the surprise fish and chips with Tomoko while the rest of the group sit by the seaside. I walk the long way to the Dolphin Fish and Chip shop to throw the group off the scent. Not a wise move as time ticks away but seeing the joy and excitement on the faces of the Cerbyd group as we approach with bags of fish and chips makes it all worth it. The group gorge themselves on this Great British tradition then Ben and Megan go for a swim in the sea. I would like to state that Cerbyd does not advocate swimming on a full stomach.

Brian and I start to hurry the group as we need to set off. Otherwise we will be pitching our tents in the dark. Much to our paternal disgust within twenty minutes of leaving Aberystwyth where there are adequate toilets, the group demand to stop to relieve themselves. We refuse for as long as possible but when it looks like we maybe having to clean wet seats, we cave in.
Luckily we are near Ben’s cousin’s house so we pop in to say hi and so every Cerbyd member can use the lavatory – quite an honour!

Ben’s cousin doesn’t seem to be in and we’re able to walk straight in to her house. I can’t stop the Cerbyd group snooping around the house like guests from episode of Come Dine with me. Louise takes a particular liking to a pair of shoes and Kathryn seems very fond of an old Victorian photograph but there is no time for this! We round them up and put them on the bus again.
‘There will be no more toilet stops!’

It is getting dark and late. We arrive at the Cwm Cadnant campsite at 9.30pm. It is dark and reminiscent of the Ewok village on Endor. Despite the many tents there are no inhabitants at large so we blindly pitch our tents.

Ben, Louise, Brian, Femke and I head to the pub to stretch our legs, unwind and most importantly catch last orders. We nestle in gripping our restorative pints of ale and play cards backed with curious Welsh landmarks. We get gooey eyed. We sleep sound.

2011-03-29T05:21:00.002-07:00

A beautiful spot and I thank Morag Colquhoun for recommending this rural idyll. Brian and I like less curvy & aesthetically pleasing Nigella Lawsons get the dinner on a mild curry with peas, pineapple, tomatoes, olives and a sprinkling of special spices. There is a small glass of slightly warm white wine for everyone with their meal tonight. A fire is built and the talk turns to beard wearing maggots and the demise of David Bellamy.

It rains in the night and we rise at 8am. Setting off from one rural idyll to the next - It's the National Botanical Garden of Wales. Although I have visited the gardens plenty of times, the directions I am given by Jane seem to be slightly confusing. They read as follows:

The easiest way to get to the Garden, as far as I am concerned (and it's also very scenic) is to follow the A40 from Llandeilo to Carmarthen. On getting to Nantgaredig, turn left at staggered Cross Roads into Station Road. This will take you over River Towy up to T junc, turn right and 100 yards later, turn left. Follow this road going up hill- after a mile from the junction, you will see a house on the left with Air Ambulance display caravans in carpark, followed by sharp left hand bend, you will then come to straight stretch of road and as road veers round to right, there is a lane going off to the left. Turn left here, follow lane to the very end and at T Junc turn left and then immediately right into our corporate entrance. You will know when you are at the end of this lane because there is a very big house on your left that has recently been done up and still in process. The lane would be approx 1.5 miles long. When you come into back entrance, take the 2nd turning on your right, go past green houses and keep going until you see back of long cottage and lots of cars parked outside.

We eventually arrive and are met by Jane Downs from the Botanical Gardens and are split into two groups. Brian and I adopt the role of team captains.

2011-03-29T05:21:00.001-07:00

The busking goes down an absolute storm, the tricks are plenty fun and keep everyone from grannies to grandchildren awe struck and amazed. There is time to chat with physicists about the link between art, science, black holes, time travel and the moon being made of cheese. Like moths or any other positively phototactic insect to a light bulb, physicists swarm to talk to the Cerbyd group. It all ends with a humongous bang as the Chemists turn up and start pulling the crowds with their explosions. We watch the show and I hear the Physicists grumble ‘typical Chemists always making a scene’. The tricks the Cerbyd group learned and demonstrated were:

Anti-gravity Maltesers
Rabbit Spiral Spin Factor
Cartesian Diver (I sink therefore I am)
The balloon and spike one
Lollistick Kazoos
Vibrating hangers

Cerbyd reconvene for a thoroughly communal lunch. With breads, sandwich fillings, olives, salad and bread spread out over the table we all help ourselves and dig in. Lunch is swallowed and we rejoin the Physicists for a Q&A about life, its’ meaning and everything else.

The group naturally split into smaller groups and make the most of the next couple of hours to look around the Eisteddfod before we depart at 5 pm to head to Brecon to Penpont our next campsite in the middle of a two thousand acre working rural estate on the banks of the River Usk.

After negotiating tight farm roads leading to and through Penpont we arrive at a secluded camp amongst the old rose garden complete with awning.

Tuesday

2011-03-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

Tuesday and I rise early. There is a fresh chill despite my close proximity to Brian who snores from within his warm sleeping bag cocoon. At first I tap his shoulder lightly but I can’t help this progressing into a series of index finger jabs to wake him from his slumber. This is no time for sleeping. We make a start on breakfast for the Cerbyd troops. Today’s Breakfast is a choice of cereal or toast with butter and jam accompanied by coffee, tea or juice. Significantly better than a Travel Lodge.

Slowly the group wake and eat. After breakfast, Brian and I begin to repack equipment into the van, the group ready themselves for the day ahead with showers and slowly pack away their tents. The loading and slotting of bags into the gaps of the van, however, is oh so slightly easier this time. Maybe we have found a knack? Maybe all the Tetris I played on the Gameboy as a kid has finally come in useful?

As planned we leave at 8 am to arrive at the Eisteddfod for 10 am. The journey goes by without incident until on a very tight piece of road we come face to face with an oncoming tractor in what can only be described as a very real life game of Cerbyd chicken. The farmer knew exactly how wide his vehicle was, we on the other hand collectively drew breath and squeezed through.

Still alive we arrive at the Eisteddfod site tradesmen’s entrance in Ebbw Vale. Gillian, in true van driver fashion, leans out of the window and tries to converse with the gigantic gatekeeper. The gatekeeper’s flattened face with eyes curiously far apart stared into our van and with a slow considered movement of his long lower jaw mutters in Welsh that our access is denied. Kathryn naturally takes the lead explaining fluently that ‘we are Cerbyd’ and ‘are expected on important duties’. The gatekeeper, having no forehead rolls his eyebrows backwards which triggers his sloping head to shake. The shaking of the head is another no entry sign. I am beginning to sweat as it starts to pour with rain.

Kathryn and I disembark and head down to see Robyn Tomos – the King of Lle Celf at the Eisteddfod. I love the Eisteddfod and enjoy the walk down the Maes despite having to frequently reassure myself that there must be some kind of misunderstanding. I am sure Robyn will be able to grant us safe passage.

Robyn does and we are finally in. Kath and I have a quick gawp at the breathtaking underground bunker of the former steelworks that is the home of this year’s visual art exhibition. It is truly la man-made wonder.

We are to meet Angharad from the Institute of Physics at between 10.45-11am at the front of the science pavillon. We are slightly early so the group split and head off to look around, get coffee, eat cake but stay dry as it continues to drizzle. Refuelled the group reassemble and are introduced to the Institute of Physics team. ‘Science busking’ is the order of the day and the group learn a range of experiments that use simple objects from home, so they can perform them to the public. These some times noisy tricks will challenge visitor’s perceptions and illustrate areas of physics.

Cerbyd are indoctrinated into the IOPW as uniforms and circular stickers are dished out. Cerbyd add the final touches hanging the IOPW bunting and we’re ready to get physic-al! Then it was explained that these are not tricks. This IS Science! I could see Louise foaming at the mouth with excitement.

“Real live scientists!”

2011-03-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

We thirteen full stomachs speed out of the campsite on our bright white Charter Van Hire Chariot. We are late and I worry whether our speakers will wait. Will they even turn up? Many anxious questions flood in through my gaping mouth. Is Cerbyd done for before it has even begun? We put our foot down and are destined to find out.

We arrive and park outside National Museum of Wales and I’m off, legging it full pelt to the Owain Glyndwr leaving Briaan to mosey along with the Cerbyd artists. Having reached the Owain I am greeted by the cool breeze of reassurance as all our speakers have already arrived.

The alternative title for tonight’s entertainment will be artists like the funniest things (to what could be seen as an unhealthy, bordering on disturbing, level, if these people weren’t your friends). Of course I am hugely grateful to each of them for kicking off the Cerbyd experience. That line up again:

Gordon Dalton on the man of steel and scars Evel Knievel
Tom Porridge on spinning on your head and tagging walls
Richard Higlett on football’s equivalent to Jesus Christ, Jimmy Hill
Helene Roberts and Tiffany Oben on South Wales’ answer to New York, Newport.
Sean Edwards on rock and roll's future, the boss, Bruce Springsteen

Not a disappointed human, let alone humanist, in sight. Thank god or Darwin or whoever. It was a great start to the tour with artists speaking openly, passionately and humorously about their chosen subjects.

I work tirelessly. At once acting as compere, cameraman and waiter making sure that our speakers are adequately refreshed. Briaan snaps the night away capturing all of the action. Despite my original concerns the evening went off well, making for a relaxed but focused beginning to the project. The ‘speed dating’ format allowed for the Cerbyd group to mingle and meet with enough direction to keep everything flowing along nicely.

Both Richard and Sean had responded to my call for mix tapes for our trip. Richard had created a quiz like double album. One side made up of day songs and the other of night songs but no titles. We have to guess them while on the journey!

Sean proudly presented the newly converted Springsteen fans with a mixtape of some of the Boss’s best. The unmistakable sound of Springsteen and the E street band fuelled us all the way back to our campsite in Llandow, sleepy but in my head I was punching the air along to ‘Born in the USA’. Cerbyd had started and so far, so good.

List of songs from Sean Edwards’ Springsteen album:

Side A
1) Thunder Road
2) Blinded by the light
3) Promised Land
4) Backstreets
5) Dancing in the Dark
6) 4th July, Aysbury Park (Sandy)
7) Open all night
8) Racing in the street
9) The River

Side B
1) Born in the USA
2) Hungry Heart
3) Lost in the Flood
4) Kingdom of the Days
5) Sinaloa Cowboys
6) Nebraska
7) Born to Run
8) Rosalita (Come out tonight)
9) Jungleland

Unfortunately a list of songs from Richard’s mystery album remain a mystery! Although I am still working on it...

2011-03-29T05:14:00.000-07:00

I am breathing a huge internal sigh of relief as my heart plays double time in my chest. It's time to go. Yes, we may have mounted the curb twice since leaving Charter van hire and scraped the side of a Volkswagen Passat as we pulled into my street but that is all behind us now, Wales and all her wild beauty awaits. Well...as soon as we have packed the considerable luggage the Cerbyd artists have brought with them. Maybe I should have set a weight limit? Has Megan actually brought a whole suitcase of shoes?! I load bag after bag plugging a gap here, slotting a tent into a satisfying space there. Briaan looks up at me, his face caked in sweat as he wrestles with bags fitting them under chairs and into every last nook and cranny.

"It'll fit" he says

I raise my eyebrows and state firmly

"It has to"

Sean shoves another bag onto the bus and we continue to muscle them in. For a while, we are definitely just moving bags from one place to another then a Eureka moment, relising that we must pack around the artists to free up more space.
First two artists onto the bus please. The bravest of the group Kathryn and Tomoko take their seats. Briaan and I pack around them, building walls of bags to their left and right, obscuring any possible view or chance of light they may have had.
Next please. Ben and Paul follow and before we know it we have Rosa, Charlotte, Louise, Megan, Lucy and Femke. The bus is full to bursting. Everyone takes a deep breath so I can squeeze the last bag in and I take considerable enjoyment from slamming the van door shut, knowing that this is my most successful piece of sculpture to date. I take my seat next to Briaan at the front of the bus and we are on the move at last. The artists seem in good spirits despite their lack of movement, light and oxygen. This bodes extremely well for the rest of the trip.

The bus chugs along the A48 towards our first campsite in Llandow. The plan is to pitch tents, eat a nutritious meal then head back into town to the Tair Pluen for our artist talks at 7.30pm. We arrive at Llandow Caravan Park at 2pm exactly. We don't make a U-turn but we do stop to let a stowaway bee out of the bus. Entering the campsite, I hop out and confirm our arrival, retrieving the codes for the gates. We are then directed to George. George may be a time lord or gatekeeper or something like that as he knows exactly what direction we must align the tents to benefit the Cerbyd project. The sun is out and I am happy for George to direct us.

We have our spot and within minutes tents spring up. However not all are up. Briaan, Gillian and I struggle under the canvas monster. And Louise, bless her, seems to have brought a circus tent. Her tent is simply massive and would easily fit everybody in. Maybe this was her plan? Louise is not alone for long and the group come to her aid. Hammering in the pegs I think the sun has gone in. I needn't worry. It is Louise's tent blocking out the sun.

And now it's time to cook. On the menu this evening - conchiglie with onions and mushrooms in a tomato + pesto sauce. Briaan and I don our matching approns - I become Michelangelo's David and Briaan makes an eye catching Botticelli's Venus. Preparation is shared amongst the group but it is the boiling of the water and softening of the pasta that takes longer than expected. We wait and wait but it is all worth while. We eat, wash up then off on the road again.

All Aboard

2011-03-29T05:13:00.000-07:00

Next stop City Road, Roath to pick up Gillian, Cerbyd's driver and Briaan's sister. We arrive at Charter Van Hire and within the half-hour, drive away in our 17 seater companion for the coming eight days. Fresh from some light hearted banter with a rather nicely suited car salesmen called Geoff who it seems doesn't take kindly to jokes made about crashing the van somewhere in North Wales.

It is now bang on 12:00, leaving just under an hour to get across town to my flat in Canton, pack the gear into the van and load up on artists at g39. Last night in my dream around this time I was drinking my second cup of coffee leafing through g2. All was calm. This is standard for my dreams they are always without exception variations of my waking hours but to different timescales and/or with dissimilar outcomes. In real time there are three pairs of hands all moving camping stoves, tents, rucksacks, gas cyclinders, pots, pans, boxes of food onto our bus. Our once tardis like bus that now grows small as we pack her.

In my wisdom at the beginning of the week I asked the combined creative masses of Twitter and Facebook to compile CDs for Cerbyd to listen to, during the trip. I am considering this as I stare at my wall of CDs that take up the corner of the living room. Usually I am extremely anal and annoyingly particular with which CDs to take on a trip. I take into consideration such factors as the time of day and season, route, destination and passengers as inspiration and reasons for choosing certain styles of music or artists and albums. Today we have just finished loading what already looks a relatively full van minus 10 artists so I just grab CDs at random. Luckily or divinely Johnny Cash magicked his way into my grasp and back on the bus in the cold light of day the selection looks a good one. I don't own bad CDs it's just some of the artists I like make bad albums from time to time.

Parked up on St Mary's Street now and the driver needs feeding. Briaan and I get large chips from Caroline Street deposit them back at the van and head on through Wyndham arcade to g39. It is all quite real now but in my dream last night I arrive at g39 and none of the artists have turned up. It is just Sean commiserating and we decide to do the trip anyway, just the four of us.
Back to reality and unless someone is playing a cruel and rather elaborate joke by strewing varying brightly coloured rucksacks across g39's floors then the artists are here and the waiting is over. No introductions needed, well not yet anyway. I have decided to tell the artists only what I deem necessary or vital. The idea is that their local knowledge of places, roads will inform the rest of the group at different times.

2011-03-29T05:11:00.000-07:00

Up at 6am, pick Briaan up at 7.15 and we are at the Cash and Carry, which coincidentally isn't where we thought it was, by 8am. I walk in through the sliding doors brandishing g39's Cash and Carry members card. I am expecting all types of things to go wrong, even sensors to go off. Large hooded security guards will take Briaan and I into a small room after our fingerprints don't match Chris and Anthony's. There will be two cops. Both of them will be bad. Five minutes into the interrogation Briaan will squeal that I once had a Mohican or some other criminal misdemeanour that I am less than proud of and I will be locked up in the Cash and Carry's underground cell.

Cerbyd will go ahead without me but there will be a horrific accident and only Briaan will survive to tell me the harrowing tale. Of course, I am over anxious and none of this will happen. Probably.

We swing around the aisles filling our two industrial trolleys to the brim. There is plenty of carbohydrates on offer and that means energy for doing Cerbyd stuff. As we head towards the fresh veg section, I start to worry. I can see only bags of onions. Big bloody bags of onions but sod all else. Cold sweat and panic sets in. I know Briaan doesn't eat vegetables apart from when I forced him so I could make a film called Briaan doesn't about 7 years ago. He shrugs his shoulders as if said big bag of onions is substantial enough on the veg front for an eight day camping trip.

We step through what I hope is an Aladdin's cave chiller area that will contain one of the finest selections of vegetables known to man. It doesn't. There are spring onions, peppers and a lot of yogurt. It is 9.50am the bus is ready to be picked up for 11.30am. We need to pack the bus and collect the artists at 1pm. There is no time for this. I have never eaten tinned mushrooms or come to think of it any tinned vegetable apart from sweetcorn. Call me a snob but I just haven't. We grabbed a variety of vegetables in tins and pushed our way toward the checkout. We needn't have rushed.

The Cash and Carry checkouts have not taken the lead from the express tills of local supermarkets. Our two industrial trolleys full with at least 250 items generates no response from our hapless bar code scanner man. He is bored out of his mind. I don't blame him I just need to go and buy some vegetables. Real vegetables so our meals don't taste of brine. Is that so much to ask for?

It seems one of our purchases doesn't have a barcode. This means 25 minutes of waiting at the checkout and my paranoia is back. I am convinced they have realised we are not the g39 boys and have sent for the cavalry. For those of you who have not visited a Cash and Carry the procedure is that you pay for your goods then take your receipt to a cashier set back from you in a wall behind bullet-proof glass. Cerbyd's receipt reaches down and tickles the floor.

The shop assistant returns with the missing barcoded iteam. We rejoice. I hand g39's card and Cerbyd's receipt to a smart and smiling man in a suit. He reiterates the amount of our bill and I pay with Cerbyd's card. The addresses on Cerbyd's card and g39's card do not match.

Now if I were the man behind the bullet-proof glass, I would be depressing the red button which would in turn be alerting the necessary authorities of our fraudulent status as owners of g39. The smart and smiling man does none of this instead he asks me whether Pentyrch (where my card is registered to) is near Castell Coch. I reply 'yes' and he informs me that Castell Coch is his favourite castle in all of Wales. It is mine too. Brian and I split from this Cash and Carry and we get the hell out of dodge.

The difference between the list and the listmaker

2011-03-29T05:08:00.000-07:00

From conception to realisation the project has taken 18 months. I am compiling the final list of things to do before we go. I am a list maker and this is my 100th list associated with Cerbyd. I have a tried and tested system for my lists. Sections are drawn to divide each project that I have on at any one time. Each project has said amount of jobs ranging from the exciting - call Alison George Formby or the mundane complete and send press release. Each job is highlighted by its urgency.

Yellow for within a month so plenty of time

Green for next week so get going

Pink for 'Tom, Why are you making a list? You should be doing this now?'

I know I am not alone as a list maker and this brings me considerable comfort but I believe all of us have our individual reasons and systems when making our lists.

I have made so many lists for Cerbyd that it has itself become part of my system. After a decade and more of making lists they have become the foundation and often starting point for anything that I do. They enable me to cross from one project to another with a clear understanding of the different problems and goals required by each.

I have found during this time that my lists have repeatedly become dog-eared. Although in this state they can be more aesthetically pleasing. For example, in 2005 Briaan suggested that I should exhibit my lists. Producing the opposite effect on my list making and has since meant that each completed list has been confined to the endless possibilities of recycling rather than the turgid guff of an art gallery. The fact of the matter is that dog-eared lists are useless to me. So the system took this into account and has dealt with it by refining each list after the first six items are completed and crossed off. Effectively the list lives for six items. The creation of the new list also works as a reward scheme for the completion of the first six items. Six items did not come about randomly either. I calculated that six was my average completion rate for my to-do list in the winter of 2008 and have stuck to it ever since.

And so to the list I am writing now, there are five items down and one left before I would normally start a new. In fact there are over 16 items on this list. Nothing is normal as there are two days till Cerbyd. The time has come to pick up Briaan and head to Newport Road for some last minute camping necessities.

I will not go over the many differences in opinion myself and Briaan had about the size and type of equipment we purchased but it would be fair to say we disagreed more than we agreed. In hindsight, I was right on 90% of the decisions. I am still to take back the large canister of gas that I plumped for but needless to say it is on my list of things to do. The disagreements were forgotten as broad smiles came over our faces as we lumbered increasingly more difficult to carry items across the go out doors car park and packed them into my tiny car. This would turn out to be extremely good practice for the Cerbyd trip.

Fast forward through our unloading and repacking to my back garden. Two men stand over two flaming barbeque grills, the smell of bacon wafting under their nostrils. The sun is out and I am tucking into the bacon sarnie, safe in the knowledge that today has seen 11 things ticked off the Cerbyd list with no need for an upgrade.

From the Cerbyd diaries

2011-03-29T05:04:00.000-07:00

I am sitting at my desk at the Glynn Viv eating my lunch. Having completed another successful animation session with the drugs project. My lunch consists of pre-cooked tortellini mixed with olives, pine nuts and Parmesan. I am particularly enjoying my lunch when my mind wanders and becomes pregnant with thoughts of Cerbyd.

Cerbyd will set off in three days, I consider potential problems - arguments escalating into violence - sculptors with their beautiful hands round the throats of performance artists who throw their heads dramatically back and fore, our ominous welsh weather, car sickness even mutiny.

My thoughts return to the present as my blackberry jigs and flashes alerting me that Briaan is calling. Now Briaan doesn't call, he sporadically sends text messages in BLOCK CAPITALS that however well meaning always make me feel as though I am being shouted at. On any other day I would be shocked to be receiving a call from Briaan but not today. Three days before the beginning of Cerbyd and Julian Barrett from the Cardiff Humanists left a message on my phone yesterday morning in response to my 'Just checking everything is ready for Monday, Julian' message which I left two days previous. Disappointingly Julian's message stated that the Humanists were not going to be able to take part in Cerbyd. His reason being that their regular meeting place, The Model Inn, was closed for refurbishment.

I had left a few messages for Julian but with no response. Each of my messages asked whether the Humanists could still take part in Cerbyd if we booked another venue?

Julian hadn't replied, the conversations were played out in a shrewd game of answer phone tennis. But Briaan was on his case or so I hoped. I answered my phone and got this:

"I've spoken to Julian"

"Hurrah" I say

"I told him we have the Tair Pluen booked but he has still limped out and won't be taking part."

"Shit" I grunt

Why had Julian done this? I had first spoken to him thirteen months back, uniquely both Briaan and I had spoken to him about the project, emails were sent back and fore. All was fine two weeks ago, I'd even joined their bloody facebook group!

"I think the Humanists are going on holiday. The last thing they want is to be hanging about explaining themselves to a bunch of artists when they could be topping up their tans in Marbella."

I'm guessing Humanists holiday in Marbella. Briaan agreed.

The Humanists pulling out so late really rocked me. Made me think-What else can go wrong?

Briaan reminded me of the Cardiff Humanists dodgy track record. In the midst of the Danish newspaper, Jyllands-Posten's Muhammad cartoons scandal. The Cardiff Humanists had organised a draw Muhammad competition and their general perspective seemed to be more why not organised religion rather than why Humanism. I suppose, they are the lose canon of the groups and maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

"Time to call in the favours" I say

"We have the venue booked"

Briaan chips in "It's a pub - let's get them drunk. It would be a good bonding exercise."

"Let's give them the option to get drunk but there needs to be an activity. Look I'll call you back mate."

After a quick chat with Sean then Gordon, the wheels were back on. Cerbyd presents an evening of short informal talks by artists about things they're into using the format of speed dating. Not revolutionary but hopefully nor would the Humanists have been. Eight hours later we had our speakers -

Tiff Oben and Helene Roberts on the town of Newport

Tom Porridge on break-dancing and street culture

Gordon Dalton on the considerable myth and legend of Evel Knievel

Sean Edwards on the Boss - Bruce Springsteen

And Richard Higlett on football messiah Jimmy Hill.

We should have sold tickets. No one would have bought them but still what a line up! I stay up late putting the finishing touches to the Cerbyd posters.

I thought I'd wait a while before I shared this

2011-03-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

I am still finding it difficult to clearly describe the Cerbyd experience without something going off in my head and entirely loosing my grip on reality. Each morning as I drive to work my mind takes me on a detour North, preparing food is no longer the delightful collaborative experience it once was and at lights out I dream of my time under canvas... WHY THE HELL CAN'T EVERYDAY BE LIKE CERBYD?

It is clear to me that although my plans for the 8 days were rigorous to the point of being obsessional and possibly bordering on anally retentive. I was not prepared however, in any way for the massive hole that would appear in my life after we got off the bus. I am disappointed with myself for not being able to forsee this. I should have devised an aftercare plan that would have kicked in as soon as we all arrived home. The exhilaration of such an all consuming and intensive experience could leave the artists drained requiring emotional support and if this was not administered could lead to trauma! Well, this is certainly the experience I have been through post-Cerbyd. Thinking and questioning everything that once made me comfortable has knocked me for six. Was Cerbyd akin to doing my MA?

Everyone involved in Cerbyd made the last 18 months of administration worth it. Eight days solid with 11 artists is, I'm sure/i know, many artists idea of hell. Without sounding sentimental we were blessed with a fantastic gang that made the whole experience. The gang galvinised one another in every action - from putting up tents (which wildly varied in size), inventing and playing Creative frisbee and the simple enjoyment you can have when packed in like sardines between bags, tents, kettles, pots, pans, lentils and strangers in a bus that sometimes wound its way through small roads with a few choice U turns thrown in for good measure but always accompanied by a backing track of laughter, singing and smiles.

2011-03-29T05:02:00.000-07:00

Being on the other side of the table in an interview situation is certainly more taxing than I ever thought or gave the position credit for. I have always imagined (pre-interview) that interviewers were half bloodthirsty ogres and half Jeremy Paxman. Or at the very least 1 part Good cop, 1 part Bad cop, 1 part Robocop and 1 part Bebop and Rocksteady, the henchmen from Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

In preparation for the interviews, the synergy between criteria and questions was tricky to ally and the actual barefaced interviewing of candidates quite simply terrifying.

In my attempts to keep parity throughout all interviews in everyway, I regrettably found myself descending into the realms of insanity and my self-awareness being subsumed by full-blown paranoia – ‘Was I stuttering through some of the questions?’
‘Had I rushed through questions too quickly giving an unfair advantage to one candidate over another?’
‘Did I give more water to one making them more hydrated and able to perform better?!’

The interviews were excellent despite my misgivings. I felt a whisky like warming emanating from my toes as I was filled and then refilled with a creative distillation worthy only of the Irish. The interviews took place at the always hospitable g39 a perfect venue albeit difficult to erect tents in…but we managed!

Drunk on entertaining presentations and sit up and take notice visuals, I retreated home for the first of my ‘let’s sleep on it’ sleeps. I dreamed of camping, George Formby and blue skies. I'd settle for two out of three.

After much deliberation, three days and two arduous sleeps later. As it is always best to sleep on these things! A decision was finalised. There were some regrettable omissions but justifiable ones. The trouble with such a strong shortlist is the decision will never be easy, instead your final decision is what is most comfortable and exciting. I still worry if the decisions were the right ones but only time will tell. What I do know is that I was knocked out by the standard of presentations and still, two weeks on, excited by the different possibilities each of the artists will bring to the project.
See the list of selected artists at

Where does the time go?

2011-03-29T05:01:00.001-07:00

The route is finalised but we currenty have a call out for artists/institutions and artist led groups to be part of Cerbyd by proposing a stop on our journey. So far we've had some fantastic and plain weird suggestions and we can't wait to receive more.

The shortlisted artists have now been contacted, ready for interviews on June 14th & June 18th. 18 artists have been selected for interview. We've still not quite got the hang of blogging and weren't really sure how much was healthy to pass on about the selection process. So we decided to board up the hatches and keep stum.

Interview questions are formulating and we expect them to form part of an interesting day for all. We can't wait to see our selected artist's presentations and these are proving to be exciting times for the project.

We'll be back with our selections in the next two weeks and hope to be snowed under with proposals for interventions.

2011-03-29T04:57:00.000-07:00

Queue trumpets and double stroke drum roll today I make the announcement of groups and destinations on the bus ride throughout the day on twitter:

Everything is coming together, piles of applications on the floor. My luminous highlighter addiction is clear for all to see. I haven't cleared a rain forest, only printed one page per group and transfered the rest of the info in pen! I couldn't stand the guilt...

Dog man Star on the stereo for the first time in at least five years this must mean I'm feeling philosophical about the whole ordeal. I'm pleased with the groups selected there is a real mixture of activities from the physical to cerebral, specialist to what can often be deemed as anorack-y, those of a conservational & environmental importance and those that are pure human indulgence.
Everything will be fully laid out on www.cerbyd.org by 5pm today so better get on...

Thank you Georgia!

2010-01-27T13:20:00.000-08:00

Over the past three months we have contacted over 400 organisations from across Wales including archers & astronomical societies; motorcycle, merchant navy, mensa, medieval re-enactment & model railway clubs; Societies of bonsai growers, bowmen, bat watchers & badminton players and cactus enthusiasts, postcard collectors, bee-keepers, quilters, miniaturists, ufologists and not forgetting the George Formby Society, to name but a few.

At times it has brought a wide heart-warming smile, at others a furrowed brow deep with concern turning alarmingly to abject fear when the conversation turns deeply into odd. The sweet majority of those we have spoken to, via telephone and email, are happy to give up their time to share their obsessions and interests with our motley bunch of artists. I’m grateful for their generosity, giving us an insight into what they do, what they like and how they go about liking it. When the bus sets off we’ll be taking in skills, history and tradition for a couple of hours so we can create something in response.

Of course, there are always a few who are knee deep in misinterpretation and however hard we try demand art workshops! They push forward the ‘artistic members’ of the group with the ends of their own paint-brushes, often these aloof members have a penchant for thick impasto flowers that I’m thankful to say look nothing like any female genitalia I have ever seen. Thank you Georgia!

On the whole though, it’s been great. I have spoken, talked, discussed, nattered, chatted and e-mailed with each group. Giving me a real insight into lives and passions that I wouldn’t have been privy to before or, for that matter, will probably be since. I feel very proud, and strangely attached, to the groups for their flexibility and indeterminable spirit that keeps them together. Whether it be sharing their love of WWF Wrestling (who hasn’t admired the skills of Hacksaw Jim Duggan or Bret the Hitman Hart?!) or from astronomical observatories cataloguing and studying the hazards posed by Near Earth Objects. I now live in fear and find it difficult to sleep at night but this, amongst others, is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

These many discussions allowed me to see a window into the groups’ past & present supporting my original belief that artist’s groups are very similar to other bands of merry people who meet up, unite over something which to them is vital, and keep warm together around their little fire of interest. I just hope that our group will stay together and not set eachother alight with matches.

I’m hoping Cerbyd will get across that artists’ aren’t weird, unintelligible humanoids designed to dump unfathomably large and useless public art across the nation’s cities. No, we are just like you so the probable 60’s protest song goes. Artists can be your friends, y'know.

Interview part 4

2010-01-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

9) Do artists work individually in creative activities, or in groups with other artists and or special interest groups?

What materials will you take on the project and how many creative projects will there be?

BW: This will be very much up to the individual but, as mentioned previously collaboration is paramount and encouraged as the project relies upon it. Cerbyd’s focus on discussion and debate will encourage collaboration and partnership and the appreciation of different ideas & perspectives. We are confident that many friendships, connections and frameworks will be made in the process of the project.

In terms of activities, all artists will partake in all activities, whether this is as a whole group, smaller groups or as an individual, will very much depend on the activity, and the requirements and wishes of the group hosting the activity.

How the dynamic between interest groups and artists will work will be very interesting e.g. a buddy system may be used (one group member & one artist) but again this all depends on the requirements of the host.

The best method possible for each activity will be discussed and decided upon (with a few back-up plans just in case!) between Tom, myself and the group leaders well in advance to the beginning of the project

In relation to the subject of materials, artists will naturally bring along there own sketchbooks, journals and familiar tools for the documentation of their own personal practice.

The numbers of activities could vary greatly depending on the nature of each activity and many other variables. We initially planned 8 activities in 8 days, allowing time for discussion and reflection after each. Saying that there may well be more, again duration and location are important factors in this decision. If a day’s activity is short, we will take advantage of other local opportunities, the schedules of the other groups in that region and the types of activities that go on there. We are in discussion with many nocturnal groups, for example astrological societies, Bat & Badger groups & Supernatural researchers.

10) Where and how will the final pieces from the project be exhibited and what do you hope they will convey?

BW: Artistic developments from the project may be exhibited in a variety of ways, I hope they convey passion and provide a window into that 8 day experience which will forever remain a document of the project. We are in discussions with art spaces about exhibiting the completed work

TG: Ideally the Cerbyd exhibition would tour around Wales to each region in the same way Cerbyd the collaboration will. There is also the possibility of showing the work in progress by at the Eisteddfod in Ebbw Vale and streaming the project across the BBC Big Screens.

11) What has been the general response so far regarding submissions of interest?

BW: The general interest so far has been fantastic. To attract interest from the various community groups has required a lot of hard work, as variety and location are very important, so to achieve the best mix has taken time; at this point in time we're very happy with the stage we are at.

TG: ….But not complacent! There is still lots to do.

BW: In regards, to artist’s submissions, we have had a fairly healthy amount of expressions of interest, which considering the duration of the project that we initially thought might be sticking point has not proved that way at all. We haven’t begun in our push for the artist call-out; we're expecting and hoping the interest to be high.

12) Tell us in a bit more detail about a typical day on Cerbyd. Who would you meet and what and how would the artists create?

BW: Exciting. A typical day would be meeting a group and conversing with many interesting people.
Eye-opening. Considering and participating in some activities that you wouldn’t have considered outside of the project
Interesting. Exploring ways to convey ideas developed during an activity.

TG: Tiring. The project will test each individual in different ways due to the inclusive, all or nothing attitude of the project. I look forward to the ride and helping to make connections, be a catalyst for debate, collaboration and discussion.

BW: Everyday will provide surprises, how can we predict how the artists will work or what they will create? We will simply be providing stimulus for collaboration, and new artistic relationships. I for one can’t wait.

Cerbyd (Tom Goddard & Brian Watkins) were speaking to Helen Turner

Deadline for group & organisation applications: Friday Jan 29th
Deadline for artist’s applications: Friday April 16th
For further information contact Tom/Brian: mail@cerbyd.org

www.cerbyd.org

How's it going, Alright?

2010-01-26T12:41:00.001-08:00

Over the past three months we have contacted over 400 organisations from across Wales including archers & astronomical societies; motorcycle, merchant navy, mensa, medieval re-enactment & model railway clubs; Societies of bonsai growers, bowmen, bat watchers & badminton players and cactus enthusiasts, postcard collectors, bee-keepers, quilters, miniaturists, ufologists and not forgetting the George Formby Society, to name but a few.

At times it has brought a wide heart-warming smile, at others a furrowed brow deep with concern turning alarmingly to abject fear when the conversation turns deeply into odd. The sweet majority of those we have spoken to, via telephone and email, are happy to give up their time to share their obsessions and interests with our motley bunch of artists. I’m grateful for their generosity, giving us an insight into what they do, what they like and how they go about liking it. When the bus sets off we’ll be taking in skills, history and tradition for a couple of hours so we can create something in response.

Of course, there are always a few who are knee deep in misinterpretation and however hard we try demand art workshops! They push forward the ‘artistic members’ of the group with the ends of their own paint-brushes, often these aloof members have a penchant for thick impasto flowers that I’m thankful to say look nothing like any female genitalia I have ever seen. (I should explain they pass on all manner of web links, you see and I know I shouldn’t but like a child with a wobbly tooth I can’t help it!)

On the whole though, it’s been great. I have spoken, talked, discussed, nattered, chatted and e-mailed each group representative giving me a real insight into lives and passions that I wouldn’t have been privy to before or, for that matter, will probably be since. I feel very proud, and strangely attached, to the groups for their flexibility and indeterminable spirit that keeps them together. Whether it be sharing their love of WWF Wrestling (who hasn’t admired the skills of Hacksaw Jim Duggan or Bret the Hitman Hart?!) or from astronomical observatories cataloguing and studying the hazards posed by Near Earth Objects. I now live in fear and find it difficult to sleep at night but this, amongst others, is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

These many discussions allowed me to see a window into the groups’ past & present supporting my original belief that artist’s groups are very similar to other bands of merry people who meet up, unite over something, which to them is vital, and keep warm together around their little fire of interest. I just hope that our group will stay together till the end and keep the sparks flying.

I’m hoping Cerbyd will get across that artists’ aren’t weird, unintelligible humanoids designed to dump unfathomably large and useless public art across the nation’s cities. No, we are just like you so the probable 60’s protest song goes. Artists can be your friends y'know!

Cerbyd interview part 3

2010-01-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

4) Tell us the kind of variety you're seeking from special interest/meeting groups and the creative processes you hope will result from the shared activities between groups and artists.

TG: The types of groups and the activities they offer will be a reflection of sorts of our nation. We’ve spoken to everything from chess, model railway and pony to luncheon clubs; Historical, bonsai and Re-enactment societies; Bee-keepers, Ale drinking, badger and rambler associations. Each group is as important, vital and specialist as the next. What is so appealing is how the groups demonstrate a similar rigour and passion to that of an artist with his or her materials – and through their shared activities, I hope this congenial passion will become evident.

5) What challenges do you anticipate during the week's creative project, and how might you overcome them?

TG: The week will be a delightful challenge. We will have the basic practical elements arranged, from food to camping, so artists will be able to concentrate fully on the journey itself. Without doubt there will be problems, this is Wales in August, we could have snow or more likely heavy rain! The trip is purposely an intensive experience so that deep and meaningful connections & dialogues are forged. People could fall out due to the complexity of taking in geography, history, language, urban & rural areas & their communities but it is hoped that through our selection process we will curate a group who are both vibrant and passionate in debate but also organically open-minded in discussion.

6) If successful, Cerbyd will work through collaboration, fresh experiences and travel. What other great works of art have also succeeded in similar (collaborative) methods and processes?

TG: The National Eisteddfod’s ethic of moving from North to South is a good example of a travelling exhibition that has continually kept its’ dynamic nature intact and we would certainly strive for the same. I particularly liked the simplicity of Simon Blackmore’s project that toured his 1970’s Sprite musketeer caravan through North Wales using it as a mobile viewing station to frame views of the landscape and show landscape themed video works. Apparently the Sprite musketeer fell foul to vandals and I hope Cerbyd doesn’t encounter the same violent end.
I’ve also been looking at The Suitcase Project which happened a couple of years ago at the Old Library where 10 artists 5 from Wales and 5 from Denmark had to create works to fit in a suitcase. Like Cerbyd the project focuses on the creation of new artwork, travel, cultural exchange and portability.

7) What do members of special interest groups gain from the experience?

Brian Watkins: There are many benefits for special interest groups taking part in Cerbyd. Firstly the overwhelming impression, having discussed the project with members of many different groups, is the opportunity and desire to share their passion. This resembles the artistic process of trying to influence the viewer with a new piece of work. Similarly groups will try, by showcasing their interests, hobbies & expertise etc...so to gather support and publicity for their enthusiasm. Perhaps they may even, find among the artists participating in the project, make a new convert or meet a fellow enthusiast!
How do we know you enjoy something unless you try it? Advertisements surround us hourly, tempting us to try bland new products, some may view the act of opening up their group to visitors exactly that but with the difference of offering activities with traditions, skills and historical worth. Furthermore, discussions and dialogue between participants will continue post project, and the span of varying interest groups will continue to create and fuel conversation. Members of groups will have the time to discuss their passion, they may understand a different viewpoint, or reaffirm their passion.

Community is an important issue of contention, many groups are routed in there communities and opportunities to open up, even if only for a brief period, may not come around that often. We hope by visiting communities the project will become the subject of local discussion and may bring communities closer together. The groups will no doubt enjoy re-communing to do something extraordinary.

8) Do they also become artists in the reciprocal activities? Can the artists teach them something too, and will there be an opportunity for them to create something with the artists, as well as the artists creating something as a response to the groups?

TG: We are of course placing an emphasis on a collaborative environment for emerging artists and networks. They will gain confidence in the networking process of approaching, introducing, discussing their work with others and all the other types of discussions that are fundamental to creativity and productivity. A strong artistic society needs constant growth and new ideas & platforms for expression. Emerging artists bring free debate and may challenge what Welsh art is or means or where it is going. I hope that Cerbyd will help emerging artists’ stay in Wales and see the project as a stimulating and fertile environment/experience to work in and see that Wales can do this too. Cerbyd will provide quality time for artists to express and share thoughts and ideas both practical and theoretical.

The groups won’t themselves become artists but it is certainly their similarity to artists that I find interesting. They are specialists, often obsessive and widely knowledgeable about their subjects. They learn tools, terminology to forward their understanding and enjoyment.

BW: Just like artists!

Groups will offer an activity for all of the artists to take part in and the onus will be on the artists to interpret this as well as respond through their practice to the various elements of the project.

2010-01-26T02:35:00.001-08:00

Cer-what?

Calm down, we are simply looking for groups or societies or organisations from across Wales to offer an activity to our travelling band of artists to take part in. For example on one of the days, a group of dancers from Mid-Wales have invited us to come to a practice session where they will dance for us then give us a beginner’s course in a 19th century form of dance. This is not my usual territory but that’s kind of the point.

Before all that takes place the selected artists will be given information on the history of each group and the activity they will be offering. There will be an emphasis on pre-project discussion between the artists and groups with a view to sharing their processes, working methods and anything else that could potentially strengthen the links between them.
We’ll then have to choose from the huge list of camping sites and food stuffs and possible stop-offs but only after we have gotten our heads around the best route to take. Then and only then we will be ready to set off on our eight-day grand tour. Each day we will take in a different group and partake in a different activity. During and after each activity the artists will talk, record and gather information to go towards their response to the journey. We’ll then get back on the bus and travel to our next destination, next adventure. The artists’ will reflect during each journey and there will be some surprises thrown in too. We’ll eat together and camp together staying in a different geographical location each night.

It is an ideal way to forge new collaborations, networks and an awareness of other practices, concerns and geographical perspectives. North and South don’t mix enough in Wales and Cerbyd will go someway towards providing a creative map of Wales, making it easier to identify important communities and artist groups. It will also benefit those wishing to work in Wales, by bringing contemporary art practice and new audiences into rural areas that can often be neglected.

The project will offer artists the opportunity to share knowledge outside of a gallery/exhibition system. Talking openly and sincerely about their practice, collaborations and future projects whilst creating a pond in Anglesey. It couldn’t be further from the disingenuous networking that goes on at openings up and down the country fuelled by cheap wine and shameful self promotion.

Cerbyd will develop further the critical network that is growing throughout Wales, while focusing on the long-term goals of cultural and critical dialogue, in addition to the artist's professional development.

Cerbyd aims to be a catalyst for engaging new audiences, for sharing networks to mutual advantage and for cross pollination of ideas and approaches for artists and community groups.

There I’ve said it. Just got to make sure it does it now. Like it says on the tin and all that…

Cerbyd interview part 2

2010-01-25T04:47:00.000-08:00

2) You aim to 'develop further the critical network that is growing throughout Wales.' Do you think certain aspects of Welsh art and culture are insufficiently promoted, funded, or tend to show favouritism? If so, what are your observations and where did they take place?

TG: Fundamentally I feel that Wales has many positive things going for it - but we are still playing catch up to the rest of the UK. Through Arc & g39's WARP initiative, a platform is being established for contemporary art and artist-led projects with a focus on critical debate. This needs to be supported to continue the evolution of our identity and the survival of the artist in Wales. Cerbyd aims to be a catalyst for new creative audiences across the whole of Wales. Cerbydwill promote collaborative experience, share networks, spark debate and consequently strengthen and promote Welsh culture at home and abroad.

3) How will you select the geographical areas that will be covered by Cerbyd?

TG: Ultimately, the selected regions will be decided by the special interest groups which apply but we have worked very hard to contact community groups from Anglesey down to Pembrokeshire.

2 Men in a bus: Cerbyd Interview with Helen Turner

2010-01-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

1) What was your inspiration for Cerbyd and why do you think the Welsh art scene would benefit from it?

Tom Goddard: The inspiration for Cerbyd came firstly from our involvement in Garej Art space between June 2007 – August 2008. After exhibiting 120 artists in rolling three week shows over a fifteen month programme, I became most interested in the dialogues created between artist and viewer, particularly from works in progress and their ongoing creative processes. They can suggest multiple ideas and perspectives; like sounding boards that will still be influenced by other voices, unlike the more finite but elusive ‘finished’ piece. Initially we faced disappointment when we discovered we hadn't secured the funding to continue Garej, but this eventually led me to question the need for a physical space to create and exhibit art.

Secondly, while I worked as AIR on Cywaith Cymru projects in St.Asaph & Holyhead, I felt wholly disconnected and isolated from other artists across Wales – organisations and networks were fragmented or absent. That was four years ago, when I wanted to develop creative connections across Wales. Now I hope Cerbyd will contribute and benefit those existing networks, as well as introduce a unique and refreshing approach to cross-Wales collaboration.

I decided that Cerbyd, the Welsh word for vehicle, could become an apt metaphor for the rise of art and its communities across Wales; a gallery without walls, which is accessible to all and has endless possibilities. Instead of meeting artists online in forums or networking sites, people will enjoy more interactive face-to-face encounters, as well as a stronger and more durable collaborative experience.

Historically of course, artists have worked together for years, from the Kardomah Gang to the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. In Cerbyd and my own artistic practice, I'm also aiming to achieve this – but given the numerous factors within Cerbyd that I can't control, the collaborative process will be that much more exciting and liberating. Obviously I want the artists and groups involved to have a genuinely enjoyable experience and we'll do everything we can to guarantee that - but with this project, the creativity and fun will come from all the participants collectively, not just those leading the activities.

2009-09-23T00:25:00.000-07:00

Does your group or organisation stand out from the crowd?

CERBYD is an artist led project that will travel across Wales in a bus.

We are looking for a wide range of groups, showcasing the wealth of diversity and interests in Wales today.

Be it a group of lifeguards, bee-keepers or a pub darts team!

This is an opportunity for your local community group to be part of this unique and exciting experience.

This is your chance to lay the foundations for the CERBYD route and represent your region.

Be part of the first ever CERBYD!

CERBYD is offering organisations & groups the chance to talk about their passions and increase their exposure on a national level.

CERBYD will give the opportunity for your group to meet artists from across Wales and share your activities offering everyone a new perspective.

CERBYD will bring together a group of 10 artists in activities hosted by our 8 selected community groups across Wales.

CERBYD will focus on the interaction between artistic and non-artistic groups, contributing to a greater understanding of each others activities.

CERBYD will travel across Wales from August 2nd – August 10th 2010

We will take part in a new activity with a new group each day in a different region of Wales.

WANT TO GET INVOLVED?

Contact us at mail@cerbyd.org for further details and application forms